Lately, I've thought to myself, If my life had a restart button I know with complete certainty I'd push it every other day. Inflation, politics, business challenges, personal conflicts, family issues, stress related poor health, and just aging some days life is just too hard to look forward to the next day! I feel you brothers and sisters! Like some of you, over the many decades of my life I've prayed innumerable prayers for every aspect of my being. From business success to personal hopes, dreams, needs and desires, always seeking and hoping for His divine intervention. I've waited with baited breath with the expectation that through my acts and deeds my reward was only a short prayer away. Afterall, didn't God make a promise that if I remained steadfast He would honor my faith? So as we all do, I've waited. Not wanting to suffer too long with illness, wait beyond my patience, nor deny myself that extra luxury I'm confident I've earned, or even stalled paying that bill simply because the money wasn't there. Some of my prayers have been earnest, other times after rethinking my prayers I had found myself to be indulgent, selfish, and lofty - when I believed my prayers went unanswered. I hate disappointment. Like a petulant child, some days I want it yesterday. But there are days when my answers are truly needed.
Like many, there have been many roads I've traveled only to feel as if I'm walking and sometimes even running alone. In my head I've suffered too long, prayed beyond my patience, given beyond my means. I'm tapped out! I'm angry with both God and the world. Why didn't someone or something move my prayers to the top of God's to-do list? Out of 2.2 billion believers around the world, why am I still waiting? What makes anyone else' prayer more important than mine? 2.2 billion prayers per second. Can you imagine how many prayers God must hear in a day? Still my final self-imposed question concerning my needs was "did He forget?" Where was God in what I believed was my 11th hour? I have no more answers for difficult questions, I have no finances to continue to pay my employees. I haven't the strength for another disagreement with my husband., I can't afford new clothes this year for my children. I can't find the job to save me. What am I do to? We've all been there...
I've had to learn both in my youth and as I approach my autumn days that time has no merit with God. No matter how we fret, complain or stress out, His infinite wisdom knows what we need and when it's sufficient to reward our faith. He understands when we have mastered discernment and humility, learned patience and practicality, and have passed life's volatile tests. What seems to us a lifetime, is only a fleeting divine minute in His sight. And no matter how old, exhausted, disillusioned, discontented, angry or discouraged we may be, when He answers it's always like fresh cool water in the Sahara. I know its hard. Some of us will lose faith and turn away. Our anger and impatience will overtake our belief and faith. Our strength will dissipate. Some will just tap out. We all feel it at times, the walls of the world closing in, your faith is shaken, your heart is heavy, I want to encourage you to pray with me:
"Almighty Father, I lift this prayer to you with a struggling and troubled heart. My life has become even more challenging these days, causing my spirit to falter, my faith to wain, my heart to break no matter how much I try to push on. I pray that You grant me the patience, courage and strength to persevere, as I know this hardship is only temporary. I pray that I hold my peace and remain patient in all things. Father, Give me comfort during these difficult times. Hold me close to you that my faith in you will not be shaken. Be my guide in all I do. Help me so that I may not rely on my understanding but rather depend fully on your grace. In Jesus most gracious and merciful name I ask and pray...amen."
Remember, God hears every word we speak, every prayer we whisper. He comforts and protects us all from dangers unknown. He understands our wants, needs and desires, even our anger. He can see our works, hears our hearts and most importantly He knows our faith. I pray that we continue to encourage one another, help each other, and above all stand in faith. Help is on the way. I'm praying for you, pray for me... Amen.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.
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