Ready...Set...Whoa!

Ready, Set...Whoa!   

I met a friend for dinner recently. Since the pandemic, it's been hard to see and keep up with friends and family. I know you understand. It was a blessing to see a smiling face across the table, enjoy a glass of wine, good food, and share recent changes in our lives. As we talked I noticed my friend's attitude change, and a wave of frustration or irritation swept across what previously was face lit up with laughter as we exchanged old college stories, family escapades, all the things that make life interesting.

After the third text message and another scowl, I couldn't help but ask "what's wrong?" My frat brother finally admitted he was still in a heated emotional battle with his ex-wife. "Are you serious? You guys have been divorced four years, what could you both possibly still  be at odds about?" He mentioned several unresolved issues, swallowed his wine, and ordered a scotch. He was really stressed. As he gulped his scotch he shook his head in resignation and asked "why haven't you introduced me to one of your close friends, sister, or somebody? It's hard out here in the dating world. Every woman I meet seems to have the same issues as my ex!" I just smiled at my good friend and posed a few questions."So when you're advising clients on investments I'm sure you've done the research work. You've prepared yourself. I've always noticed you're always working on something post research. So what have you done to prepare yourself for your next relationship?" He looked at me as if it never occurred to him that preparation would be required to find, learn, and keep his next partner and relationship healthy and intact.  He simply assumed they would meet, and with the right person, everything would just fall into place - no work, no fuss. Negating the anger, frustration, mistrust, and confusion I recognized on his face as he interacted with his ex-wife.

Many of us don't recognize what volatile emotions we still hold from past hurts and trauma, but we emanate it in all we do or say.  Some of us do understand we're hurt and angry but find a comfort zone in that discomfort, sitting in our own sorrow because we're afraid to prepare for our next  journey. 'What if someone hurts me again? What if it doesn't work out...again?' So  you don't grow, change or evolve because you haven't recognized your true emotions,  and comprehend the lessons. So now you're now 'stuck' in low energy. Sometimes we don't even notice that negative energy. But others notice, therefore the lack of understanding and failure to do that emotional work make new relationships  impossible to create and enjoy. I had to express this to my forlorn angry close friend.

God wants us all to stand in faith and call on Him to help us understand the lessons life will bring. To learn acceptance and offer forgiveness, even in the worst of times.  Even when we face the challenge of the end of what we believed was the beginning of the rest of our life. He offers comfort, understanding, and peace, no matter what you may experience. But we must be willing to take the steps to meet Him. God cannot plant seeds of blessings in fallowed ground. So when we pray that prayer of want, need or desire, remember to ask yourself "am I ready?" 

 1 Peter 3:15 But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect,   

Proverbs 24:27 Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house