Recently the opinion of an entertainment musical celebrity (Fantasia Barrino) made headlines and sparked a heated debate when after numerous failed relationships and a recent marriage of three years, in an interview on the Breakfast Club she advised, "women are losing their men because they won't let the man lead the relationship, women want to be the man, they don't want to submit". I somewhat understood her conviction, but also noticed she was vaguely quoting Christian doctrine, but omitting the most important part - the man or husband must follow Christ before he can lead his household, and that not all women (and men) have the desire to be married or committed. There is no scarlet letter for (and enjoying) being single.
My better half and I smiled at her newfound wisdom. We recognized a new Believer and her zealousness in reflecting obedience and offering unlearned sage advice. We also know that in what we call the first five "honeymoon years" she and her new husband have yet to be really tried and tested, (If you've been coupled up longer than a decade you know exactly what I mean)!
In our household, my partner and I permit God to lead. And through our faith in God, our prayers and years together, we have learned that combined we are a formidable team, a good partnership. We're both business leaders and have learned the art of negotiation, compromise and delegation. There are burdened days and challenges we both face, but we lean on the other to sometimes take the lead, help the other rejuvenate and we both persevere. We are the other's "soft place to fall".
We've learned what we call the RRP or "The Relationship Ratio Principle", meaning that there is no such animal as a 50/50 relationship or marriage. Some days its 60/40, others 80/20. We've learned in these modern times, that only Christ can delegate and lead the path of our relationship, we only have to pray for guidance, listen to communicate, understand our positions and follow our mutually agreed decision. And believe me it's not always easy! We've spent many days in prayer, disagreed at the negotiation table, and back in prayer! But Amen, when Christ leads we always work it out!
So if you are searching for or struggling with a role in your relationship or marriage, know that God can bring to you, (or transform) an understanding companion, partner and friend who understands the "Relationship Ratio Principle". Some would call it "balance" - me and mine call it "a soft place to fall".
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
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